Life's like an hourglass, glued to the table...

Just Because...

2008-07-03T17:23:03Z

1- Would you rather have a fun fling or a lasting relationship?
How about a fun, lasting relationship... :) Cuz I think I found one!

2- What was your longest relationship?
About 3.5 years

3-What is your favorite personality trait?
Who could ever really pick one...? Sincere, Honest, Attentive, Humorous, Intelligent, Loyal, Reliable, Kind, Determined, Trustworthy, Optimistic

4- What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do?
Jamie said it best this week... romance is all about the little things. Not flowers or candy or cards or diamonds.... romance is opening the door so you can go first, holding your hand in the dark, pushing an unruly strand of hair out of the way, a kiss on your forehead out of the blue, making breakfast just the way you like it, etc......

5- When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you?
That I can truely be myself with that person.

6- Do you like pet names (ex: baby, sweetheart...)?
When appropriate, not EVERY time my attention is requested

7- What is your ideal night out with a significant other?
I'm easy to please... :) Last week it was a few hours at the lake with my family followed by ice cream on a city bench and watching the trains go by.... this weekend it will be the lugnuts game & fireworks, maybe a couple overpriced beers :)

9- Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
No, what's the point in lying?

10- Do you like relationships that involve serious commitments?
As long as I have no doubts about that serious committment.

11- If you ever got engaged, how would you want it to happen?
I have been engaged.............

12- If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible?
I didn't the first time! Maybe the second time around will be different.

13- Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?
Yes, but you can only go so far.... I don't fantasize about marital bliss or a house full of kids or a white-picket fence with a dog... I think it's more relevant to talk about goals, dreams, what's important...

14- Do you prefer a sensitive open relationship or a strong silent type?
Um... I don't understand the question. NEXT!

15- When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis?
Not physical contact... but yes, as things are right now, we talk on the phone every night... and it never seems long enough :)

16- Do you like public displays of affection?
If they are simple and well-timed, yes... but PLEASE don't try to hump me in the grocery store in the express lane or slobber all over my face on the playground at 2pm when families are out enjoying the sunshine

17- Is there anything you won't tolerate while in a relationship?
Abuse - Verbal &/or Physical, Lies, Disrespect (esp. to my family), Ignorance, and of course whoring around!! Oh and don't always be a debbie downer, it doesn't make life fun or YOU fun to be around.

18- What is one thing that you value most in a relationship?
Haven't I already answered this in some way, shape, or form?! I value.... mutual respect and chemistry.

19- Would you ever be able to handle a long-distance situation?
I'm handling it now :) But any farther away... and I wouldn't be able to play.

20- Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?
I've also lived this one out... and YES I'd still be a big advocate of living with someone before committing to them forever, because you really do get to know a person when sharing the same space, everyone has quirks, can you handle them? Better find out before you take that vow!

21- Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
Just one - a stupid Meijer Gas Alert... of COURSE it's going up, it's a big holiday travel weekend. Oil prices, shmoil prices.

22- Whats your relationship with the person you last texted?
Well... I'm one of her bridesmaids! :)

23- What are your plans for today?
I'm slowly wasting my day away on this SURVEY... cuz I'm long-winded today... so after this, just work!

24- Where was your default taken?
At the Leisure Lake :)

25- Do you have a flip or slide phone?
Nope... a flat smartphone with a QWERTY keyboard!

26- Have you ever played hard to get?
Just to pass the time :)

27- Who is the last person you shared a bed with?
Ty... or more recently, Vada!! :)

28- Do you love anyone?
I love lots of people.

29- Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes and no.

30- Have you ever broken someones heart?
Possibly... "All Hail the Heartbreaker"

31- Do you have an iPod?
Yes... thank you Sarah/Andy!

32- Do you wish someone would call you right now?
No, I'm too busy with this survey... leave me alone! ;-)

33- How do you feel about the last person that called you?
It was Ty... and he's the reason I'm so thoughtful today :) Enough said.

34- Do you have any weird inside jokes?
LOL.... I'm weird. Of course I do.
"BYE MONKEY!!"

35- Do you find piercings attractive?
Depends on where and how many, but... yes.

36- What song are you currently listening to?
Nothing... just those damn birds outside.

37- What's the worst abuse you have done to your phone?
I'm good to my phones, they fall sometimes, but I dust them off.

38- Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Yup!

39- Do you personally know anybody who has more than five tattoos?
Yes... :) haha

40- Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
I heart this day so far... I got to sleep in.... :)

41- Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Nah... :) I'm loving life and everyone in mine.

42- What was the last graduation you attended?
Hmmmm..... it's been a while..... my brothers?

43- Do you owe anyone money?
Nope, but someone owes ME money! *cough, cough* ;-)

44- Do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to?
lol... not sure what "thing" implies.... but my ex is in California, we aren't strangers, no need to be! :)

It's official folks...

2006-01-21T15:06:21Z

I'm moving on.

I finished my last official "photog" shift at the station on Wednesday night.

I met with Phil yesterday and signed my new 2 year contract.

I start an intensive week (yes all 7 days) of training on Monday.

I'm no longer a photog for the station... but a PRODUCER!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's bittersweet really... I'm going to miss the incredible experience of being a photog. The places we go, the things we see, the people we meet.... getting out of the newsroom :-) But I didn't feel challenged enough as a photog. I love I felt like an assett to the team, but I just couldn't see myself doing it forever. So... I've decided to try something new, something full of challenge, something with more responsibility. I've even impressed myself through this process. I didn't get the job handed to me just because I work there. And that's exactly what I DIDN'T want to happen. I had to prove myself and my capabilities concerning the new role. I even had to interview and was up against 2 or 3 others they brought in based on resumes submitted. I felt REALLY good after my interview thinking "wow... I definitely presented myself well, if I don't get it after that, i can't stay I didn't try my best".

But sure enough... they offered me the position and the best thing about that moment was Phil saying "I want you to know we were impressed by your interview and we feel this is the best decision for the station and for you. We are not settling because your an easy hire, we really believe you are the best candidate." That right there was worth everything.

So here goes nothing.... Hopefully I will float instead of sink! My goals? To revamp the weekend show, working that shift as a photog was always full of dread because weekends are TORTURE. The news (unless something breaks) is full of light and fluffy content, no hard news. I want to really develop the crew and raise expectations. I'm hoping I can make a noticable difference with my presence. I want to be the best I can be, so I'm going to work at it.

My new shift...? Wednesday - Friday at the assignment desk in the newsroom and producing the 6pm and 11pm shows on Saturday and Sunday. And nooooo I'm not giving up on Hom-Tv just yet... I'll do that on Mondays still. So my DAY off will be Tuesday :-) And what a much needed day off it will be! The tradeoff for working weekends again is at least having my nights back during the week. It will definitely take some getting used to, but I'm looking forward to it! And who knows... if there's any more movement with producers maybe I'll have proven myself worthy of a better shift at some point! :-)

Soo... thanks to everyone who has supported me through all of this... I'll be needing more of it I'm sure! Wish me luck!

Butterfly kisses

2005-12-10T18:35:26Z

"You better be careful... with eyes like that, you could stop a guy in his tracks."

This is the first corny, honest-effort pick up line someone has attempted to use on me. I had to laugh nervously and could only respond with "Well then... I better keep them closed!" *Smile* All the while thinking... did that just happen? He then proceeded to insist he needed my "digits" haha. Sorry, but....

I'm engaged.
He was hanging out at the VFW in Portland.
I was clearly working.

Thankfully we were on our way out, so I proceeded to act really distracted with the process of getting out the door and back to the news car. Though it was way out of line, I remain a bit flattered....that's a nice compliment to hear. Even if he was reading it from his "Top 101 Cheesy Pick Up Lines" pocket guide! *wink*

Just another scene in the movie that is my life!

Interesting...

2005-11-30T19:05:04Z

So I just woke up from a pre-work afternoon BUM nap, something I RARELY do... and told JR about a dream I had. A dream in which I almost killed his fish Buddha. I took it out of the water to show it something. I believe I may have been flipping through the pages of a book (probably something cliche like Finding Nemo haha). And soon realize he's not breathing because I've set him on the counter for book time. Don't ask me why, it's a dream okay? Anyway - I freak out, find water, can't get it the right temp... finally after a couple attempts I get him to stop floating to the top. Fish CPR maybe... ?? So after panicking he's back to his normal self - swimming around the tank like his glimpse of death was no big deal.

JR (psychotherapist & respected author in training) says: The dream wasn't about the fish at all, but feelings of inadequacy towards raising children.

I laughed... a lot.

But he's probably right.

'Cept I'm left wondering where the HELL did that dream come from? I can't quite explain it with context from elsewhere.

Weird.

GRRR!!

2005-11-11T06:27:51Z

I had to get the ice scraper out of my trunk after work tonight... I was NOT happy with the frost covering my windows. I tried to not give in by cranking the defroster and turning my wipers on high, but I got impatient.

So there you have it folks... scraper use #1.

I may cry.

You better watch out!

2005-11-08T13:32:56Z

Just stumbled across a Christmas countdown online....

46 days to go...

I can't believe it's that time of year again! Not that I'm complaining... its my FAVORITE time of year, but wow... this year has gone by really fast. Seems just like yesterday...

Just for the record.

2005-11-05T20:34:48Z

Trying another new color scheme/layout for my LJ. I can't guarantee it will make me update more, but it's a nice change of scenery!

Speaking of scenery, I love fall... The trees are so bold and dramatic. It makes a drive anywhere seem like a mini vacation.

I attempted to bake pumpkin seeds for the first time last night... left over from the 2 that Rakell and I carved last weekend. I'd say I did pretty well... I did a batch with just salt and a batch with garlic powder. YUMM... I think I like the garlic powder ones the best.

I'm gonna have a full house tomorrow... Mom and Dad are coming up to bring me some furniture that was kindly donated to my apartment from my Grandma Great. She has no use for it anymore so we'll do our best to give it TLC at our apt. I believe Trav and Cindy will be heading this way too before going back to school. How fun! I heart family time.

Family time... JR and I had a lot of it last weekend too... our trip to Iowa was really nice. Got to see his bro play his last high school football game, took his little brother Logan to chuck e cheese's for a belated birthday with Dad and Gered too. Went shopping and to the theatre for SawII. A huge thanks to Sarah for letting us borrow her portable dvd player... it made a WORLD of difference on the 8.5 hr drive. I will be scoping out holiday sales to see if Santa can pick one up for us.

I have started organizing scrapbook stuff for the book I aspire to make for Rakell highlighting our first year in the BBBS program. Time is tickin... I need to have it done by the end of the year. It will make a good Christmas present. I saved a lot of stuff and kept up with writing little things in my planner, but I have SOOO much to do. I set up a little work table in my apartment to motivate me so here goes nothin! I hope it's a masterpiece... :-) Thank god my Grandma L gave me a ton of scrapbooking stuff for Christmas last year to get me started... it's going to make a HUGE difference.

I'm talking contract with HomTv tomorrow.... it's that time again. There's no way I can back out now, things are going really well with Meridian Magazine. I wonder if yet another raise is in the works....?? Pretty soon I'll just take over the station and be a salary employee haha. Keep your fingers crossed!

ONE more thing... I'm going to get the ball rolling to get into producing at work. If I give it my all in the next 2 months it's very possible my days of being a "photojournalist" could be in the past. We'll see how it goes and see if I even have a knack for it in the real world. I have a lot of support at work... with everyone. News directors, other producers, reporters, etc. It's motivating to know they are all rooting for me to make a change if it's something I truly want.

Until next time... :-)

Clackity clack

2005-10-19T00:53:20Z

I can always count on work to put me in endless situations that make me realize how greatful I am for the life that I have. For the solid, nurishing past behind me, for the incredible people and situations that fill my every day, and for the promising future ahead.

Okay, that's it for lump forming emotions....

SOOOOO looking forward to the next couple weekends!!

THIS weekend marks both MSU's Homecoming & Hom-Tv's 25th Anniversary celebrations. I have Friday night and Saturday OFF so I can enjoy the festivities and be a part of two things that mean the world to me. Can't wait for Ryan to roll into town either... haven't seen him in like 230498 years and I've convinced him to spend money on football tickets with me!! And Elizabeth will of course be heading this way to be my faithful sidekick!! This will honestly be my first time tailgating... so I hope the weather cooporates...chilly is fine, rain is not! I still have one ticket remaining... I was hoping I could convince JR, Bry, or Muff to come with, but things aren't lookin promising with the boyz... so we'll see!!

NEXT weekend JR and I will be taking a little mini vacation. We weren't able to do much of anything this past summer as far as vacations go, so this will be nice. I can't go into too much detail because we're still trying to get things figured out, but I have Friday, Saturday, AND Monday off (at Hom-Tv) so that in and of itself is a good thing. A MUCH needed few days off... hey... I work hard folks, don't hate!

One more thing -

I know I'm fairly humble... but I have to admit. With all of my new responsibilites at Hom-Tv I'm getting constant reinforcement that my thoughts, actions, ideas, words, all matter and hold weight just because they came from me. Not that I've ever doubted that... but to be so valued at a constant level is nice. I love that I can make a difference or enlighten another person based on the things I've learned along the way. It's a great feeling to know I've come so far and I'm using all my experience to help others do the same. I also got a call from the State News yesterday about an article they are doing on Hom-Tv's Anniversary, so I'm hoping I make the cut and get to clip an article for the scrapbook! And with my ventures with Big Brother's Big Sister's... not only do I have a lasting bond that strengthens each week with Rakell... but all the time I've volunteered at the office has led them to personally ask me about helping head a committee for their next big fundraiser as well as an employment opportunity with the organization. I really feel like I'm onto something...somewhere. It's only a matter of time before I hit gold (more than I have already).

Bring it on!

2005-09-23T05:52:28Z

NEWS FLASH:

For those of you I haven't talked to - I'm leaving at 7am to head to Lafayette, Louisiana until Wednesday to cover hurricane stuff for the CBS station there! Wish me luck... & I demand all of you to miss me lots!! :-) I'll post upon my safe return to Lansing...

I can still fit in a couple hrs of Zzz's before heading south, so off I go to attempt sleep!

Love to all... :-)

COMMENT MANDATORY!

2005-08-31T04:56:18Z

So I got this random magazine for "Carnival Cruises" magazine in the mail today. I was about to nonchalantely toss it into my wedding magazine pile for honeymoon ideas but first flipped through real quick and noticed a PHOTO CONTEST on the last page. Having just gone on a Carnival cruise with Sarah, I got all excited and decided I need to enter this bad boy and WIN!!!

Here's the deal... you can enter a pic from any Carnival cruise vacation you've experienced - from a scenic shot taken on shore to a winning pose struck with friends on deck. Entries will be judged equally on subject matter, composition, & lighting. I have a month to enter.. so I thought I'd take a poll. I have two pics that I think could be winners... you tell me your fav and why and that will help me with my decision, cuz I heart them both!

On shore in Cozumel, Mexico.

Our ship docked at Key West.

AARGH!

2005-08-26T14:03:27Z

Elizabeth.... Stacey....

This may be old news to ya... but I was watching a show on VH1 about "Awesomely Bad Celebrity Baby Names" earlier this week and I thought you might want to know that KORN frontman Jonathan Davis and his porn star wife, Deven, had a baby boy in mid March and named him Pirate!!

A new one!

2005-08-23T05:50:44Z

I stole this from some random LJ... I just happened to see it and thought "OOooh one I haven't done before!!" So enjoy!

1) My uncle once: tossed me up in the air when I was younger after feeding me... and as the story goes I threw up my baby carrots right in his mouth. It's his favorite "remember when" story to tell :)

2) Never in my life: have I found a true passion worth risking everything regardless of consequence.

3) When I was five: my brother knawed on the broiler handle and cut his mouth open... scary stuff.

4) High School was: all about amazing friends, quite lack luster concerning the dating world.

5) I will never forget: how lucky I am to have a family like mine.

6) I once met: the incredibly talented Gavin Degraw :)

7) There’s this girl I know who: wants nothing more than to be completely confident and comfortable in her own skins with her own thoughts and opinions.

8) Once, at a bar: in Cancun... I danced on the top of a circular bar all by my lonesome trying to liven up the crowd on barstools!

9) By noon I'm usually: thinking... I have to go to work in a couple hours, ew.

10) Last night: I drove home from Grand Haven after having a nice little afternoon at Jenn's with friends I miss and love lots!

11) If I only had: a clue as to what the future holds.

12) Next time I go to church, I will: attempt not to laugh while my brother and cousins poke fun at our surroundings... being that I only go once a year on Christmas Eve with the fam - tradition more than desire.

13) Terry Schiavo: can finally stop seeing her poor, brain-dead self posted all over every magazine and news station showcasing how horrible her life has been for the past 10 years.

14) What worries me most: is never feeling like "I've made it" in life.

15) When I turn my head left, I see: JR's empty desk chair, he's at work.

16) When I turn my head right, I see: through the "bar" to the dark kitchen... oh and the Argus Press article on LIFTED!!

17) You know I'm lying when: I slip and let a smile creep out (that is when Im lying about something playful...) When I'm lying to cover something serious - as I don't do much anymore - I even believe myself, so it's probably hard to tell.

18) What I miss most about the eighties: being young and without the burdens and stresses of real life things.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: ?? Noone except Juliet is coming to mind and I don't want to be her. She dies.

20) By this time next year: I'll be half-way to 30 and wondering where the first quarter century of my life went.

21) A better name for me would be: I like my name just fine... how about Princess Jessica *wink*

22) I have a hard time understanding: a lack of common sense, racism, & politics

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: have finally discovered what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my professional life and incredibly pumped about the possibilities additional schooling will open up for my career.

24) You know I like you if: I don't give you the "are you still breathing?" look...haha Don't worry I like most everyone... I'm fairly flexible when it comes to reforming my first opinion of poeple. I'm open-minded, accepting of differences, and excited by the different perspectives other minds bring to the table.

25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: my family, fiance, and friends (hehe the 3 F's) for their never-ending support and belief in me.

26) Darwin, Mozart, Master Hagaki, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Well... I can comment on the first two as being way ahead of their time in knowledge and talent. As for the others... I'd have to google them :)

27) Take my advice, never: refuse to dream the impossible. Tomorrow is a world of possibility.

28) My ideal breakfast is: a fresh bagel with cream cheese or if I'm putting effort in... a western omlette with hashbrowns :)

29) A song I love, but do not have is: Lady in Red was the first thing that came to mind... hehe

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you go in with no expectations and have a plan B, just in case. For real though... visit the Curwood Castle and foot bridge on a pretty day, gauk at the historic houses that add charm and character to the area, and stop by Ristro Bistro for some infamous french onion soup.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: whoa random... I vote tulips. They remind me of my boy... his favorite!

32) Why won’t anyone: buy me a winning lotto ticket?

33) If you spend the night at my house, don’t: forget your pj's and toothbrush! Only rule is to make yourself at home :)

34) I’d stop my wedding for: an unfortunate tragedy...or a change of heart I guess.

35) The world could do without: poverty, violence, disease, disrespect for differences, gender/race inequalities.

36) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat raw cow testicals.

37) My favorite blonde is: my mom :)

38) Paper clips are more useful than: folding the corners over.

39) If I do anything well, it’s: tying a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue... LOL kidding (well, kinda *wink*)

40) And by the way: I received my very own OFFICIAL copy of my birth certificate from the State of California today... who wants to leave the country!? :) Hey Sarah... how about Mexico again - I won't have to sign an affidavit this time!! I've finally arrived with the raised seal copy!! :)

41) The last time I was drunk, I: was getting wild and crazy at Carlos N Charlies in Cozumel with AFLAC peeps and the natives... those Mexicans sure know how to throw a party!

jessmsu81 @ 2005-08-18T00:38:00

2005-08-18T04:44:29Z

"And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now..."

"Breathe (2am)" by Anna Nalick on her debut album "Wreck of the Day"

I vow to buy the above CD this weekend... I don't remember the last time I bought a CD, so it's time. I've also decided that I will purchase Fiona Apple's newest CD when it finally hits shelves on October 4th... as claimed by her website.

Any other "must-have" CD suggestions out there?

Whoa dude...

2005-08-13T12:26:51Z

So I literally JUST woke up and was shocked to recall that I had the most random dream...

Sarah... you were pregnant and I was there with you when you had the baby. It was beyond strange... I swear it felt more like we were on the side of a pool deck than in a hospital. There were a bunch of people standing around, but all doing there own thing, mindless to the fact you were there spread eagle about to pop a child out. The nurse that kept checking to see how far dialated you were was rather frantic and would always just wizz through, shove her hand up your crotch, tell you how much more you had to go, then fly out, like she had 132 places to be at once. And why did she always have this 8-9 year old child with her, following her around like a little puppy? Maybe she couldn't find a babysitter....?? So then... her last time through she gave you a little plastic name tag to hang on to, gave me a marker and told me to help you out and right the baby's name on it. So I proceed to do so...spelling it wrong. Awesome, so I had to ask for another tag... and another. What's up... why can't I spell in this dream? Benson Josie Grace was her name. Where the HELL did that come from? I couldn't figure out why you were naming your new baby girl BENSON. So anyway... finally your ready... your doctor flys in, just like the nurse has been doing... only sweet Jesus he's the hottest Latin man I've ever seen. Straight from the cover of LatinoWorld Magazine haha... wow. So we forget for a moment that your about to pop this baby out...and look at each other like.. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.... Then honestly you had that baby in like 2.3 seconds. I'm starin at this thing as I realize, I have NO idea who the father was... and you look at this dark complected baby with black curly hair and say... *Sigh* "Thank god for black men" LOL Sooo random. So then, you know me, run to get the camera and start snappin pics of this great moment and you let me do it for a second, then were like... "seriously Jessica, stop with the pictures. I look horrible." lol I stop, but am all confused like, YOU JUST HAD A BABY... let me take some f-ing pictures. Then this man who is suddenly part of the scene... this white-haired 50+ year old man... looks at me like I'm a freak of nature for trying to snap some pictures, gives me this "I can't believe you would do that" look... and then turns his attention back to you and the baby.

I think that's when my alarm went off...

Well?

2005-08-11T17:36:30Z

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Switchfoot - "This is Your Life"

Society at it's finest...

2005-08-07T02:57:15Z

Scanner traffic at work...

"Caller claims ... he only listens to Jesus & he's not high."

Hit & Miss

2005-08-06T04:58:49Z

KC says it best sometimes...

"Where is your heart?"

I don't believe
In the smile that you leave
When you walk away
And say goodbye
Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God's sake
Could you try?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand
And I've always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like a petal fallin' to the ground
A dreamer followin' his dream

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

It seems so much is left unsaid
So much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
Oh yeah

I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh yeah

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?

Life is good :-)

2005-08-02T05:21:17Z

The past few days have been FABULOUS and I just felt like sharing... shouting from the roof tops if you will... :-)

Saturday - The first weekend shift I've had in a while that I was 102% happy with the efforts put in for the product produced. Usually weekend stories seem really forced and we encounter a zillion issues trying to make a story out of nothing. Everyone's mood was top notch, the weather was great, our story worked out, I had time to spare to actually take a real break and do a few things on my personal to-do list... it was perfect. After work - JR was still in the process of working on Sarah's demon computer, so I put my PJs on and hopped in the car to go hang out on Sarah's couch with her and the last half of Reality Bites while he slaved over the noise-making machine in the other room. Then back home to sleeeeeeep, JR had a few things to finish up, but I was pleasantly awaken by him finally coming to bed and some sleepily-motivated, magnetic cuddles that gave me tingles and a warm "this is what it's all about" feeling. Yay!

Sunday - Mom & Dad drove up and the 4 of us (JR included) went to breakfast at Old Country Buffet... haha, my parents are suckers for buffett breakfasts - it's tradition for them (since us kids moved) out to be treated to a big hearty breakfast on Sundays :-) I had a plate of breakfast food, but soon succumbed to the fact that regardless of it being 10am I had to give into the salad bar, so that was happily the food of choice for my second plate. I heart any chance I get to see them! They left to head back to Owosso and within 30 minutes or so, JR and I semi-spontaneously jumped on our bikes and road over to the zoo... hehe... we spent a couple hrs being goofy with the animals :-) The back-flippin otters, the greedy map-eating goat, and the acrobatic spider monkey clan... among others *wink* Good times, good times... Upon returning home from our adventure, we parted ways for a couple hrs then reconvened to finish watching A Time To Kill and cooked some yummy chicken on the grill for din din. Mmmmmmmmmmm, he likes cooking on da grill, I like eating what he cooks on the grill :-) In our mode of laziness together.... we watched another movie too... So good to spend my only day off along side of the guy I adore so much, whose attention I crave during the week when our schedules pull us in every direction but the same :-)

Today - Another morning at hom-tv, but not just any morning! Deborah wasn't there and yet again, the show went a lot more smooth because she wasn't there to change everything around and add things at the last minute that are not quite able to be accomplished in the allotted time. Bless her heart for caring about making the show all it can be, but sometimes a line needs to be drawn :-) Anyway... hehe... our show went swimmingly, only a couple minor mistakes! I had a good (or what I thought was good) heart to heart with Shanna about some drama that has been going on with her lately. I'm not sure how much I actually helped, but I hope I was at least able to give her some objective, honest perspectives on everything. After our talk... I renegotiated my expired contract - I got another raise and left with less commitments to extra projects. How freakin sweet is that?! lol No more sideline elements that involve shooting and editing after this week.... just my news show every Monday, which I'm totally okay with. Hung out with Rakell for a bit tonight too, we made spaghetti for dinner and filled out the invitation for the slumber party we're planning for next week. Thank god for Elizabeth and her excitement for being part of the festivities. Rakell insisted I have at least one friend come! I'm excited... :-) I'll tell you all about it next week!

In short... since I tend to babble... I have so much to be thankful for, so much to be happy about, so much to look forward to... In addition to the specifics of the past few days, I've had contact with so many people lately that I've semi-lost contact with just because of life and responsibilites. It feels so good to renew connections that I know in my heart of hearts will always be there, though I realize that life happens and things get lost sometimes. So huge huge thanks to everyone I love, everyone I miss, and everyone I care so deeply about for being you and for being part of my life. Life is about moments and I have no lack of them, reminding me each and every day how lucky I am to have such amazing people in every realm of my existence... :-)

Words of wisdom...

2005-07-30T19:25:25Z

Amazed again by my infamous Uncle Mike... :-) Just thought I'd share a statement from his last email to me... because it's so true and inspiring to anyone, not just me concerning my endeavors with Big Brothers Big Sisters...

"Keep up the good work with Big Bro's & Big Sis' , it's up to you and your generation to set the example for those following you. Life is not about how one lived, but how it influenced someone else's life. We all leave our footprints on this earth, some good some bad, it's footprints like yours we hope the next generation will follow."

Wooooo!!!!

2005-07-13T04:45:14Z

So I go to work today only to find out that Lauren has pulled strings with assigments and paired up with me to do a LIVE interview with the one and only GAVIN DEGRAW for our 5pm show today from Common Ground... Holy hell I was so excited!!! Thank god for her remembering how I swooned over him and burned his CD for her a while back!! So yea... here's the proof!!

I know there's a lot goin on.... but we only had our media passes as an option for getting an autograph...!!

He definitely had the hots for Lauren, but I was on cloud 9 regardless!! :-) He seems really cool and down to earth. It must be the trucker hat... what you don't see are the board shorts he decided to wear with the nice collared shirt knowing no one would see his pasty legs on tv *wink* Oooh Gavin... sing to be baby, just sing to me!

I popped back into the festival during my dinner break to hear a few songs, so here he is on stage! I heart him. A lot.

It was ultra cute that EVERYONE at work was so excited for me getting to meet him because I had sent out a note last week asking if anyone would switch me shifts so I could go hear his concert today. I got so many calls and comments after our live hit, it was great. And JR stayed up past his bedtime to watch it on TV... how sweet!! Woo, today was great!! :-)

Oh wow...

2005-07-01T03:27:23Z

To share this glorious experience I must reveal my surroundings because it sets the scene...

I needed to get a different/new prescription for birth control so I decided to brave the world of "low-cost health care service" since my vagina doctor in Owosso decided to close his office without notifying his patients. As I sat in the waiting room of Planned Parenthood, I couldn't help but wish someone was there to share in the glorious experiences with me....

First - There's a young guy sitting in there with a lazy eye... now I know they probably do counseling and deal with STDs n stuff.... but it was just strange to see a male in there fully out numbered by women. He tried to talk to me a couple times... but I wasn't in the mood for idle chat about personal issues... He said sitting in there makes him feel dirty... Hmmm...

Second - A young girl walks in in her pj's (it's about 1:30pm mind you...) and goes straight to the counter to request a "morning after pill". When asked, "have you gotten one through us before?" She replies, "yes"... within 2 minutes she has the pill in her hand and is on her way. I wonder if she'll be back tomorrow...

Third - An older woman... I'd guess at least 50ish walks in... she's got a cast on one of her hands and passes by the counter through the door to all the examination rooms. About 10-15 minutes later she comes out, but first stops at the counter to rifle through the basket of free condoms. And we're talkin "RIFLE" through... I think she man-handled every single on in there. I first thought is... oh, she's just looking at all the different kinds so she's up on what's out there these day's... but no. She walks away with a couple in her pocket. Ever heard of menopause? I don't think you need those ma'am!

On top of it all... one of the first songs that played on their little office radio was "Feel like Makin' Love" by Bad Company... :-) Ironic.

I will leave you with a quote from a pin the lady at the counter was wearing:

"Every ejaculation doesn't deserve a name." <-- Ain't that the truth ladies!!

TGIF

2005-06-24T16:25:59Z

I was driving behind a van today that had decals for a business on it... "Pet Crematorium" it said and had a picture of a dog face with angel wings around it. Now... we've all lost a pet and I can attest to how horrible that experience is... however... do these men drive around picking up dead pets for the back of their windowless van to cremate?! Who decides on that for a career? Is the back of their van refrigerated? I passed on the right to avoid staring it all the way home.

On a brighter note - I got sunglasses today with a little tiny cut-out of a butterfly in the corner and a couple sparkly gems for accents... they are cute :-) I lost mine somewhere, but it's okay... I hated them anyway. My head measurements make it difficult for me to find sunglasses that fit perfectly and make me happy... anyone else out there know what its like to shop for UV protection with eyes that are a bit too close together... a short distance from your eyes to your ears.... and just a small head in general?! *wink* I do!

It's hot today, drink lots of fluids and stay in the A/C if possible! :-)

Good luck at F*cktastic Finds today Elizabeth!! I'm thinkin about ya and that oversized bust! And I hope your sister's wedding shower goes off without any major inconveniences!!

Lizard 3 14: you need to make LJ your friend again

2005-06-18T05:52:33Z

I'm way too easily amused...

Yes folks... productive, time-management obsessed ME got sucked into reruns of "America's Next Top Model" on VH1 this past Sunday. You may say, ooh that's not so bad. But listen... I willingly and unabashedly watched SEVEN episodes in a ROW. Yea, that's seven hours... you did the math right. But don't hold it against me!
There's this new song by the "Pussycat Dolls" <-- their name alone turns me off. And so does the name of their one hit wonder "Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me". What a bunch of conceded bitches! I mean it's one thing to be confident, but DAAAAAAANM. The moral of this story... I downloaded the remix.
I went on a quest to a fire about an hour south of the station today... and to make a long story short... it was a crap shoot, just ended up being a small electrical fire with some basement damage, I didn't even get my camera out. However, while on this adventure to Columbia Township I encountered a woman cutting her sons hair on a chair in the middle of her driveway who told me what street the fire was on.... a 2 track dirt road in the woods that I took the good ol Mercury Sable down... a 2nd woman that had some goats in a pen, complete with a dog-house type structure for them - who clarified which house it was was....and finally the owners of the house where the fire was who ended up INSISTING that they give me a tour of their brand new house. And by tour people... I'm talking an MTV Crib style tour... I saw every square inch of that house from the living room to laundry room... even their master bedroom and their daughter's closet. LOL But let me tell you, I was AMAZED at how INCREDIBLE this house was. Honestly... I can't even begin to describe it to you, huge-modern-expensive... so despite the minor set back of the fire contained to one side of the basement, they are livin large and I'm very very jealous. Someday Jessica...

Sidenote - the above experience - despite not liking all aspects of my job - is why I love it. The people, the experiences, the places, the moments, the stories, the chance to touch someone's life even if it is just for a second... because they in turn touch mine every day.

A few more random thoughts....

I'm buying a digital camera soon... any suggestions?!? I'd LOVE to not have to spend more than $300 but I'd like the best camera for that price with the most usable/necessary features. My indecisive nature is NOT aiding in this process...
I made no-bake cookies for the first time tonight... a little treat for my dad for Father's Day. No kids, not a cop-out just because I didn't have to turn on the oven... they are one of my dad's favs! But the reason I decided to mention it... SO easy and SO fast to make! Sheesh... I'm never making a different kind of cookie again. Well... unless I want to eat some cookie dough of course... *wink*
My Uncle Mike left the sweetest voicemail on my phone for my birthday. I can't bring myself to delete it, so every time I listen to my voicemails I have to keep saving it even though I know once I reach the inevitable 30 day limit it will be gone forever. How sad.
JR's sister had her 3rd baby last week... we were able to stop over this past weekend and visit. We stayed for a few hours when surprisingly we kinda wanted to keep an eye on the clock and get the H out of dodge in like 30 minutes. It was really really nice to feel a family connection though, cuz he doesn't really get it that often. The girls are SO cute, I"ll have to post a pic one of these days...
Speaking of JR... he got a membership at the YMCA for a discounted price since I already have a membership... and they let him join mine under "spouse" since I argued that we live together and are engaged and rightfully should get the discount, purely driven by the fact it would save us money. Weird! Spouse! So many strange new words come with this being engaged thing! Can you believe the runaway bride sold her story to a production company?! What's wrong with the world... Anyway, I got sidetracked *surprise surprise* This means we are going to the gym together 3 days a week if all goes as planned and maybe I'll finally be on the road to finishing my quest for a better quality of life!

*Yawn... Bedtime for me...long "weekend" ahead as usual*

Things that make you go hmmm....

2005-06-09T14:40:30Z

First...BIG Thanks to Elizabeth and Sumby for being my pro-bono birthday photogs :-)

However.... it looks as though there were some moments I ... "missed" ...*wink*

Anyone care to explain this???

Yea... that's definitely one of my best friends... my fiance... and my cousin.... Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Why I do what I do...

2005-05-31T15:40:56Z

I had Rakell and I make thank-you cards for everyone who donated money to our bowling fundraiser. I figured it would be a good way for her to realize the extra effort people made to support the organization that brought us together - and being that she LOVES crafting at this point, she always likes a reason to get her creativity flowing with stickers, markers, glue, etc... :-) She made me a "special" thank you... unprovoked...

She's 10... I swelled with pride reading those words that came straight from her, un-edited. I also feel slightly saddened that b/c of events in her life she was compelled to write "I hope you never leave me..." but it just reinforced why I enrolled in the program to mentor in the first place.